Sunday, February 8, 2009

...dONt kNOw...

I couldn't believe it myself what's happening with me. Just this January, something weird happened to me. Though one of my friends said that it is natural for me to become weird, its just I just couldn't find the right explanations or statement to explain what's happening with me. But actually, so far I'm happy.

It's again February and it's a love month, anyway. So don't mind me writing something here that is about love. Though it sounds corny and all that, but what shall you expect in a girl like me. Whew. As what my friend says, "Kamu dAw ma-inLove beh". Corny diba?? But actually, I'm not quite sure if this I'm feeling right now is somewhat called love. Don't know really. And that is the problem I'm facing this time. But then, I like this guy so much. I think I'm getting there. But I dont know when would that time come. All I know is that I'm happy with him, and hoping that he's happy too. Gosh, what am I writing here right now.

And here is the real problem, were not that really close. Even though that we meet in our church, were not that really close. We dont talk that often. I was just playing around with him after the fellowship. Then, that starts that something and ended up something. If you dont understand whats that something is about, then dont force yourself to know it. My mom and my elder brother met him already, and as far as I'm concerned, he's just the second guy that I introduced to my mom. I dont know the reaction of my mother, she never said anything. Well, so much for that topic. And what I'am worrying about is that i just broke up with my last bf(kuno!) last Thursday. See?? I have done something worst and terrible things, well, I guess for me. And that previous bf(kuno!) of mine already knew that I have a new already. Gosh again, what am I writing. But actually, what I have written here are true.

I just write something here cause I really don't understand whats happening to me. And I really want an advice. I'm just scared about what would people would say about me. I know that people really judged someone as if they knew the deeper attitude or the inside of that someone. I dont want to be judged by doing something stupid. But I just couldn't find myself doing the wrong thing, neither doing the right one. All I know is just I'm happy right now, and on the othe side, worrying about something I dont want to worry about. I'm worrying about my ex's(kuno!) reaction. I just cou;dn't find myself happy with him. There are lots of worries that fills me everytime we are together, and I couldn't feel his presence after all, same with that I coldn't feel he feels the same way as what I have feel to him, but that was jus t before. Right now, I also couldn't explain the happiness and worry of what would happen tomorrow. But then, all I could see or vision about is what the Bible says. "Dont worry for tomorrow, let tomorrow worry itself. There's a lot of things to be worried today!". Gosh. Worrying about something that doesn't really need to be worry. You get what I mean??

1 comment:

kharen said...

...ur old enough to decide whatever you think is right and can make you hapi..

...and before you sow the seed, you alredy know what fruit you are going to reap...

...what matters most is that we are happy..genuinely happy..

...and it would also be nice that we learned sumthing after everything that happened..GOOD or BAD..

..enjoy life and yet, be careful.

..8s not bad to worry if you are always ready for everything.

luv yah..