Thursday, December 11, 2008

...An IT ProfessiOnaL...

The greatest dream I want to achieve is to become an IT professional, someday. And I believe that it’s not only me dreaming of becoming one. But then, seeing me of that dream to come true is really a great achievement. More likely, a big satisfaction to myself.

During my pre-school years, as stated in one of my article in my blog, my ambition in life is becoming a nurse. I really don’t know what comes out from my mind that time. Since I’m still six years old that time, idolizing nurses and doctors are really in demand. I’m fond of watching eat bulaga, a noon time show in GMA-5. One of their segments is the “Little Miss Philippines”. And as the cute little girls would answer the question what would you like to be when you grow up? Mostly would answer of becoming a nurse or a doctor someday. Why? It is because they want to help little kids who are poor and can’t afford to go to the doctor for their check-up when they are sick. Isn’t it touching to hear it from a six year old cute little girl? Well, that maybe was my reason why did I want to become a nurse. Then years after, my ambition became a teacher. My grade 1 teacher taught us very well. In reading comprehensively and writing neatly and correctly. She taught us to spell, to count, to make friends with others, and most of all, to discipline ourselves. Every noon, all of us, me and my teacher, go to sleep together. Then in the afternoon, we play together. I really learned a lot from her. And idolizing her makes up my mind of becoming someone like her in the future. Since then, I learned to love teaching too. I’m fond of teaching my nephews and nieces who are younger than me, mostly, Mathematics and Spelling. Well, during those years, I do have higher grades in math. That was my forte. I don’t know what happened now. My dream of becoming a nurse lives through till my high school years. Though, comparing my grade school teachers and my high school teachers, I’ll prefer the grade school ones. But still, I do have a favorite teacher in high school. She was our 4th year physics teacher. She really does love teaching. And like our professor quoted to us last Monday, she lives to teach. We treated her as our adviser though she was not. It is because, she was the one giving us enthusiasm in teaching and encouraging us to graduate at the end of the year with honors. Unlike our adviser who always feels us down and useless. But unfortunately, she died due to her asthma month before our graduation. She did not witness us receiving our diplomas on which we really do think she will be proud of.

What happened? Why I ended up of becoming an IT student? So easy. Joke. During my 4th year in high school, the technology trend is really in demand. Meaning, becoming one of the future technologist is not one of my ambition. I did not even dream of becoming a scientist, technologist pa? But, studying in USeP is one of my dream on which it did came true. So hearing news and intrigues all around our place, I did try to be one of that lucky enrollee to be enrolled in this course. That was fortunately. When I was still freshmen student, those higher years are always threatening us. They always are telling us that we really do pick a wrong choice. Maybe yes. But now, it’s a big no! Dealing with this course is really a challenge for me. Especially during those years who I thought that quitting is the best way. But for me, quitting makes me a loser. And I don’t want to be called a loser on the path I chose. So what now? 4 years in IC and in USEP was a destiny. Maybe, I was destined to be here. Destined of suffering such sufferings. Joke. Now, as a third year, regular IT student, char, I’m decided to go my way. Pursue this tragic course, at first, is one of the greatest achievement a can have. Since, I suffered a lot from this course, what more can me happy? Of course, to see my parents happy as well. At last, their only daughter would graduate. And can pursue the dreams they want to have after being disappointed on my 2 elder brothers who got married at an early age.

So what’s next? After graduation, work. And what work that can be? Since this is still a dream, and there’s no bad thing about that, why not dream big. And that would be seeing me as an IT professional, who works in a prestigious company. The name would not matter as long as it is well known company. Maybe google or Microsoft. That would do. Hahahahaha. Dream big. Isn’t it? 10 years from now, maybe. And how do I see myself 10 years from now? Since my dream is to become an IT professional, maybe I’m working in my dream company. Since I defined myself worthy of it. Maybe, I have eyeglasses, working on a company with working fee enough or big enough for me and my family. Maybe at this moment, I’m doing my other sidelines, doing programs and research for big companies too. Or maybe, I’m at my house, doing those jobs I haven’t finished in work. Or maybe, I’m at overtime right now doing researches, design, presentation for the report the next day, or doing paper works. In other words, I’ll be working the whole through out. And what are my strategies on achieving those big plans on mine? First, I will strive even more on my studies. In my observation about myself for the past years, I really like planning and dreaming big. Actually, that’s not bad, isn’t it? The only bad thing about that is that I’m not doing anything. Like in my programming subjects, I always admire my regular classmate and my other classmates since they are good in programming. And I keep on telling them that programming is hard. Hard, hard, hard, and nothing to do because it’s hard. And I keep on depending on the teacher’s points of view and hand-outs. That’s what I observed to myself, until now. Then I told myself that they are good because they keep on practicing. I always keep depending on our laboratory class, not even practice it before the lab. Or even after lecture class for that case I will know how the programs run that way. And every time we do have machine problems, more likely, I practice and do it on my own, but if I can’t finished it on my first time, what pops out from my mind is that my other classmates already finished it. I’ll just copy it and change the variable names. Even in written quiz. If I’m not on the mood to study, I just tell myself that I’ll just sit beside to those who study the topic. Just finding it out that I’m not learning. Though, at first I am, but at the end, I’ll end up not even remembering what our lesson before. Like last semester, in our database 3. Though I did something, honestly, I still don’t know the other codes for it. Since that time, I promised to myself that I will study hard, even harder, as long as when my brain can function and how long as it can takes. Then I’ll practice more. I will not depend only on my teacher’s points of view. What I also observed is that I can stay longer in internet doing nothing rather than practicing what I have learned during the lesson. Other thing is that I will have time management. Every year, every semester, I always pass assignments on time. But then, before that, there was no enough sleep then cramming takes place. We always are doing that in our programming subjects. We always are doing that every last minute. And finding ourselves haggard the next day. Though, some of those programming subjects really need to be “puyatan” in tagalog. Then, as what I mentioned above, self reliance. We can’t always trust anybody, or somebody. We can always trust ourselves. And I believe in the saying, let man do his job, and God will do the rest. So if I just trust myself, do my best out of everything and in God’s will, I know I can survive anything. Then, do have confident. I do have self esteem at many times, but when pressure and fear comes my way, I’m becoming a negative thinker. I do have fighting spirit as well, but as what I said, fear really does over takes. Next, have focus. I always have hard time on self focus. Since there are lots of other things that enters our mind. That’s one of my main objective in life right now, “first things first!”.

At what I have written her, one thing is for sure, I’ll better change myself. Change for the best or worst. It depends on if I followed what I have written and planned or I just taken it for granted. I remember the homily of our professor last Monday, we planned to fail. Hope not. It’s just a threat to us that if we just keep on planning and not doing those we planned, maybe our professor was right, we just planned to fail. And remembering what he told us that it is not only me who failed, it is also our parents. And I really don’t want to fail my parents. After failing from my elder brothers, I don’t want to fail them for the last hope they have. Though I know that it would not happen just happen that easily, but at least, I didn’t failed them. And I will keep my promise of not failing them.

Dreaming big is like reaching for a distant star. But who knows, nothing is impossible in this world. Even Apollo 11 reaches the moon, who knows, I can also reach that distant star. Not only for me, but also for my family.

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